Kale Me Crazy Nutrition Calculator

Go Getter leads on raw protein at 700 cal / 33g, but it's the heaviest smoothie. Power House is the smarter macro pick — 29g protein for just 440 cal, plus only 13g sugar. Recovery (600 cal / 30g) is in between. If you want protein without a 700-calorie hit, Power House wins clearly.

Green Dream at 110 cal / 5g protein is the lightest, followed by Burning Kale (150 cal / 6g) and Tropical Tripping (220 cal). Note the sugar: Tropical Tripping packs 39g sugar despite being light, while Green Dream has just 13g. For low-cal and low-sugar, Green Dream is the standout.

The Chicken Quesadilla tops out at 58g protein (850 cal), then Chicken Pesto at 44g (750 cal) and Salmon Avocado Wrap at 38g (1,100 cal). For protein per calorie, the Turkey Wrap (550 cal / 36g) and Smoked Salmon Salad (360 cal / 24g) are the most efficient — the salad is the leanest high-protein option on the menu.

The Hummus Plate is the biggest at 1,260 cal / 78g fat, followed by the Salmon Avocado Wrap (1,100 cal / 70g fat), Overnight Oats (880 cal), Chicken Quesadilla (850 cal), and Vegan Quesadilla (840 cal). The açaí bowls look virtuous but run 480–500 cal with 45–51g sugar.

The Açaí Bowl is 500 cal with 45g sugar and the Deluxe Açaí Bowl is 480 cal with 51g sugar — both are dessert-level sugar. Overnight Oats is a better breakfast trade at 880 cal but only 26g sugar and 26g protein. If you want the açaí with less sugar, the toppings (granola, honey, fruit) are where most of it comes from.

The Power Iced Latte is the protein leader among drinks at 370 cal / 22g protein. The Mushroom Iced Latte (330 cal / 12g) and Beetroot Latte (330 cal / 10g) follow. Plain Hot Tea is 0 cal. Skip the Hot Cocoa if sodium matters — it's oddly high at 640 mg.

The Vegan Wrap (690 cal / 26g protein), Vegan Quesadilla (840 cal / 37g), Kale Salad (350 cal / 14g), and Almond Butter Toast are plant-based, along with several smoothies and the Painkiller/Wellness shots. The Vegan Wrap and Kale Salad give you the most protein per calorie of the vegan options.

The quesadillas lead — Chicken Quesadilla at 1,840 mg and Vegan Quesadilla at 1,780 mg, each roughly 80% of a day's sodium. The Poke Bowl (1,500 mg), Turkey Wrap (1,470 mg), Chicken Pesto (1,420 mg), and Hummus Plate (1,460 mg) are the other big hitters. Smoothies and bowls stay well under 300 mg.