Kale Me Crazy Nutrition Calculator
Track calories, protein, carbs, and fat for every Kale Me Crazy smoothie, açaí bowl, toast, flatbread, wrap, salad, drink, shot, and snack.
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Ratio is estimated using 4/4/9 calories per gram (P/C/F).
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Smoothies
Recovery
Calories: 600Protein: 30gCarbs: 77gFat: 24g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 250mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 4gFiber: 12gSugars: 38g
Tropical Tripping
Calories: 220Protein: 3gCarbs: 49gFat: 4g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 20mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 3gFiber: 7gSugars: 39g
Super Matcha
Calories: 450Protein: 11gCarbs: 75gFat: 17g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 45mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 2gFiber: 13gSugars: 40g
Go Getter
Calories: 700Protein: 33gCarbs: 71gFat: 37g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 250mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 6gFiber: 14gSugars: 32g
Grounded
Calories: 590Protein: 16gCarbs: 94gFat: 23g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 10mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 4gFiber: 15gSugars: 57g
Green Dream
Calories: 110Protein: 5gCarbs: 24gFat: 1g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 70mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 0gFiber: 6gSugars: 13g
Warrior
Calories: 410Protein: 8gCarbs: 78gFat: 9g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 180mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 1gFiber: 10gSugars: 40g
Power House
Calories: 440Protein: 29gCarbs: 29gFat: 26g
Micronutrients
Sodium: 250mgCholesterol: 0mgSat. Fat: 4gFiber: 9gSugars: 13g
Kale Me Crazy Nutrition Standouts
Chicken Quesadilla packs the most protein on the menu at 58g.
Chicken Quesadilla is the most protein-efficient pick — 58g of protein for 850 calories.
Chicken Quesadilla is the highest-sodium item at 1,840 mg — worth knowing if you're watching salt.
Pesto Portabella Flatbread carries the most carbs at 106g.
Grounded has the most sugar at 57g.
Kale Me Crazy Macro Calculator FAQ
Go Getter leads on raw protein at 700 cal / 33g, but it's the heaviest smoothie. Power House is the smarter macro pick — 29g protein for just 440 cal, plus only 13g sugar. Recovery (600 cal / 30g) is in between. If you want protein without a 700-calorie hit, Power House wins clearly.
Green Dream at 110 cal / 5g protein is the lightest, followed by Tropical Tripping at 220 cal. Note the sugar: Tropical Tripping packs 39g sugar despite being light, while Green Dream has just 13g. For low-cal and low-sugar together, Green Dream is the clear standout.
The Chicken Quesadilla tops out at 58g protein (850 cal), then Chicken Pesto at 44g (750 cal) and Salmon Avocado Wrap at 38g (1,100 cal). For protein per calorie, the Turkey Wrap (550 cal / 36g) and Smoked Salmon Salad (360 cal / 24g) are the most efficient — the salad is the leanest high-protein option on the menu.
The Hummus Plate is the biggest at 1,260 cal / 78g fat, followed by the Salmon Avocado Wrap (1,100 cal / 70g fat), the Pesto Portabella Flatbread (1,000 cal) and Margherita Flatbread (970 cal), then the Chicken Quesadilla (850 cal) and Vegan Quesadilla (840 cal). The açaí bowls look virtuous but run 500–640 cal with 43–55g sugar.
All three run dessert-level sugar: the Açaí Bowl is 500 cal with 45g sugar, the Berry Açaí Bowl is 500 cal with 55g sugar, and the Nutty Açaí Bowl is 640 cal with 43g sugar. The Nutty bowl is the highest calorie but gives you the most protein at 15g. Most of the sugar comes from the fruit, granola, and honey toppings rather than the açaí itself.
The Power Iced Latte is the protein leader among drinks at 370 cal / 22g protein. The Mushroom Iced Latte (330 cal / 12g) and Beetroot Latte (330 cal / 10g) follow. Plain Hot Tea is 0 cal. Skip the Hot Cocoa if sodium matters — it's oddly high at 640 mg.
The Vegan Wrap (690 cal / 26g protein), Vegan Quesadilla (840 cal / 37g), Kale Salad (350 cal / 14g), and Almond Butter Toast are plant-based, along with several smoothies and the Painkiller/Wellness shots. The Vegan Wrap and Kale Salad give you the most protein per calorie of the vegan options.
The quesadillas lead — Chicken Quesadilla at 1,840 mg and Vegan Quesadilla at 1,780 mg, each roughly 80% of a day's sodium. The Poke Bowl (1,500 mg), Turkey Wrap (1,470 mg), Chicken Pesto (1,420 mg), and Hummus Plate (1,460 mg) are the other big hitters. Smoothies and bowls stay well under 300 mg.
